A strange noose
by DivergentTribute
Summary: Blood splattered on the floor. I don't know where it came from. I look up at the ceiling. There she was. Knife on her tummy, rope around her neck like a necklace. She's dead and I'm alive. Should I commit suicide?
1. The strange noose

The moon's beams shone our paths. It prevents us from tripping since we were running, I and Katniss. I don't know where we were heading, but I know Katniss knows where to go. We were going deeper the woods, I kinda remember the place. We were getting closer to the place, the place where she gave me her utmost care. The cave. She gestured me to follow her, so I did.

"Katniss, seriously, why did we run away from Finnick?" She can't look straight at me. "Is there anything wrong?"

"No Peeta, I just want to..." She didn't continue. I don't know what happened to her these days but she started acting weird.

"What's wrong Katniss?" I said. "Continue please. I can't stand seeing you like this. Please?"

"No Peeta, you don't understand. It's just that I wanted us to be alone. Just the two of us, Okay?" Katniss wasn't really like this. This was so different from the first time we met. Katniss, the girl on fire, has her fire slowly extinguished by an unknown cause, I don't know. "Let's call it a day, please?" She said. Fatigue was obviously on her guts.

She tugged me by her hand and I followed her as we got deeper in to the cave. I look at our dark surroundings. Up the ceiling of the cave were pointed rocks like stalactites. Then suddenly she stopped. That gave me the creeps since she pulled her knife from her belt. I felt suspicious, will Katniss kill me now? Now that she had the chance? I was out-of-weapon. I don't stand a chance to her, especially in my condition like this. But suddenly, my paranoia faded when I saw her throw her things to the other side. I knew my face looked terrible because she asked: "Problem Peeta?"

"No," I quickly replied to stop her interrogations. "Let's sleep ok?" She nodded and tackled me into a hug.

"I kissed her on her forehead.'this will be over. Just wait.' 'What if not?' she asked me, hugging me tighter. 'Trust me.' Again, I kissed her. We remained to this position until the both of us drifts into dreamland or maybe just me."

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><p>In my dream, Katniss was going on the far end of the cave. On her right hand was a rope and on the other was a gold knife she got from the cornucopia from the first day. She knots the rope, a rare knot. A noose that is somehow familiar to me. She stepped on the rock in front of her and reached for the nearest stalactite she could reach. After tying the knot, she stepped on the other pile of rocks, which was higher than the first rock she stepped on. She wore the rope around her neck and she was about to jump but she hesitated. I can see that her eyes were full of tears but still there was determination on what she was doing, like her decision was already made and no one, not even me, could change it.<p>

"I love you Peeta." Her last words echoed into my brain. She jumped from the pile of rocks and I can see her struggling from it. She was grasping for air.

_*Pant* *Pant* _

Her panting was getting louder. And I guess she couldn't take it anymore because she stabbed herself with the golden knife on her hand. Blood was spilled on the floor. It was exaggerated because the blood reached me from my place. My eyes were covered with blood. Everything was covered with that red substance. Even the place was covered with blood, the blood of the girl who made the people's mind awake from Capitol's acts of deception. The pain she was feeling was somehow being transferred to me. I felt the stab on my stomach and I felt weak, No wait, weaker than who I am. Not just physically but also mentally. I felt that the whole world was on me. Like this was my entire fault. Even the Games. Wait, why am I blaming myself? I thought for a moment then I realized that this was all a dream or an illusion that my brain made to make me one of those people with psychological problems.

The cave was still dark even though the sun was already up. Of course, I could tell. I tried to open my eyes but I can't. What's happening? My face was sticky, but not with sweat. It was something viscous and smelled like iron or something I couldn't tell. I licked my lips. _Blood_. I panicked. I tried to open my eyes once more. My eyes felt stung. Literally. For a few minutes, I successfully opened it. Up in the ceiling was a girl. Katniss was her name. She was wearing an unusual necklace and it came from a high place like she was hung. There was a knife on her tummy. Her eyes were closed. Her body was stiff. I felt a tinge from my spine. Katniss Everdeen, the girl on fire, just committed a sin. She has committed a suicide.


	2. The suicidal note

_This is the second chapter of my first fanfiction. I hope you'll enjoy it. :)_

_Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games because if I do, I would build the Capitol._

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><p>I stared at her. A body hanged from the ceiling. Her blood filled the place. Her presence was nowhere to be found and the truth sinks in. She's dead. And yes, she left a letter, but will that change the fact that she's dead? I don't need explanations. All I wanted to do is...Follow her. Why? Why did she do it? Why didn't she tell me? And now my head's full of why's. I blame her for that. I should've been with her. I should've protected her. It was my job right from the start. And I have failed. And now, I blame myself.<p>

The hovercraft still hasn't got Katniss's body. The rule was to stay away from the body of a tribute once they're dead. But I couldn't leave her. How could I leave her if she was the only person in the world I have felt happy? How could I leave the person I love? I hugged her from the last time. She was cold as ice, her skin was like stone. No sign of life now. I looked at her face, the eyes which caught my heart, now looked like candles but they weren't lighted. Her face now was like contented, she wasn't in regret. I could sense, somehow. Was she smiling? Or is it just me?

Anyway, I saw a paper clutched in her right hand. My heart beat faster when I saw my name._ Peeta Mellark and For the People of Capitol._ It was in front of the folded paper. I reached for the paper, and I wondered. How did she get this paper? Did she plead in front of the camera to get a sponsor to send this? I can't imagine her doing that. A shiver went through my body, like a lightning. It was so fast that I felt electrocuted. I opened the letter and I couldn't move. I don't know. But I saw the first words she wrote and another shiver went through my whole body. "These are the Reasons, reasons why I killed myself." I continued reading. I don't know why, half of me tell that I should stop. And the other tells me I should continue. I continued anyway, it was voluntary. Voluntary like how our heart pumps the blood.

"_Peeta, I know you'll be the first to read this. And by the time this letter is in your hands, I am already running and chasing Rue and other tributes, who sacrificed their lives. Wherever I go, wish me luck. I somehow think I may go to hell since I've killed someone. (Just kidding) And please forgive me. I don't know what to do. I don't. I realized I could just suicide so I could escape all of this. Be free from Capitol. Show them that I am not a piece of their games. Just like what you said when we were at the rooftop. That's what I wanted Peeta. We never wanted to be controlled, just for the sake of their happiness. They never cared Peeta, they never cared."_

I stopped reading. A question occurred to me. Was it Katniss who wrote this? I never saw her write. So how will I know? What if it wasn't a suicide? What if it was a murder, a setup? What if it is just the Capitol, the Capitol who wanted all of us dead? They were tricking me or Katniss really wrote this? What is this? I am confused! I wanted to die. I don't know. Fuck my life. I continued reading.

"_Peeta, be strong and don't ever suicide. Never let that rage inside you build up. Control yourself, brace yourself. Please, blame me but never follow me. I love you Peeta, very much"_

She must've read my mind. I wanted to go and hang my body now. Like how she did it. I want to do it now. I feel angry at Katniss. She left me here by myself. She was being selfish. But the other part of me says that I shouldn't. It says that I should respect what Katniss decided.

And as I was reading this, I heard the sound of the cannon. Someone must've been dead. But I don't even dare to look. I don't care. They made their decision and it was their life.

"_People of Capitol and Other Districts, don't you guys realize what kind of situation we're into now? It is now the time you open your eyes! Rebellion, it might be the key. We don't want to waste lives anymore. The Capitol, or directly Snow, wants to have fun. He wanted to let us feel that he was the King or God of the world we are in now. He feels that he should control everything. Even us. We have to stop him now. "_

Katniss, you really are brave. I salute you.

"_You people might even think I'm a coward. I did not kill myself because I was scared of killing people. That I was scared of what would happen to my family, No! It is because; I wanted to let Snow know that he wasn't someone to be followed. He wanted us to feel like we are like the pieces of the chess, and he is the player. We must stop that. He thinks he have control. I don't care if he reads this or what. But please, continue. I just did the first step. Now, people, continue everything. District 13, I still believe you're somewhere out there. Please stop this madness, not just for me, but also for the people who spared their lives for the sake of Snow's cruel plans."_

Tears started to flow. I couldn't stand. I couldn't breathe. My mind was clouded with her thoughts. My air way was clogged.

I stopped reading and I laid my back on the cold surface, staring at the ceiling, with my hands at the back of my head. Suddenly, I saw a dog, or some kind of vicious animal approaching me. I stood up and walk to his direction. He stopped. I examined his face and his form. Somewhat familiar I told myself. I dared to take another step and the animal pounced over me.

I just realized that it was a mutt. I ran outside the cave, half carrying Katniss. And the mutt was still on our track. I ran through the forest until the mutt was nowhere to be found. That was easy, wasn't it? I placed Katniss at the bottom of the tree and let her sit down there. I put flowers to her hands. This is the last time I'm going to see her so I make the most of it. I kissed her on the forehead and bid goodbye. "Bye Katniss" I said it aloud so the whole Panem could hear. "I love you." And then I ran off.

I didn't go back to the cave. I don't want memories to come back. The memories during the 74th Hunger Games and last night, they completed me somehow. But now, I wanted to forget it. They just made me feel like I was responsible for Katniss' death. I should've told her I love her, not just and act. True love. I now feel pointless. I remembered that I still have her letter on my pocket. I took it out and I continued to read it. And I found that there were only few lines that I haven't read.

"Peeta, I love you too. I pretended I was in love with you, but now I realized that I really love you. Peeta, promise me, that you'll win this games for me. Promise me."

I promise I'll win Katniss. Just then, Ceasar Flickerman's voice fills the arena. "Tributes, we invite you to a feast at the Cornucopia. No weapons are allowed but you could sneak it inside your pockets. Before the sun goes down, the feast starts."

I wasn't surprised; this was a strategy of the gamemakers when the scenes are dull and no exciting kills. The day has passed and not even one cannon fired. I must sleep now and be early for tomorrow and it's getting late now. I examine my pack and see that I've got little amount of supplies left. Berries, a rabbit's leg which Katniss hunted last day and a bottle filled with water.

I told myself I didn't want to go back to the cave. But I did. I was in the cave. I closed my eyes and surprised by a fire of the cannon. I didn't even look at the skies to know who was dead. Instead, I continued my sleep and before I know it, I was dreaming. Dreaming that I could be dead at the feast tomorrow.

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><p><em>3rd Chapter: The Feast.<em>


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